


DMV From Hell

by EvenEth13



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Appointment, Bored Lucifer, COVID-19, Cutness, Deckerstar - Freeform, F/M, He wanted a lazy day inside, Hungry Lucifer, Mask-Up, Old Married Couple Energy, Put a ring on it already, Rude - Freeform, The DMV is Hell, annoyed Chloe, dmv, hot summer, irritation, she wanted this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:40:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25229242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvenEth13/pseuds/EvenEth13
Summary: No one likes going to the DMV, especially during a global pandemic. On a mission to get their real I.D the two are in for a very long day.
Relationships: Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar
Comments: 8
Kudos: 100





	DMV From Hell

**Author's Note:**

> For anyone not in the US that reads this, a real ID is kinda like a passport that allows you to get into federal building and board onto planes faster. Everyone is supposed to have one by October of this year. Due to COVID, things have been hectic. This is my sad story of my trip to the DMV. I thought I could share it with you threw Lucifer's eyes. Enjoy!

The day opened with Lucifer complaining. He had planned to sleep in, watch tv shows, and eat sweets all day, but apparently Chloe had other ideas. Chloe rolled him out of bed at the crack of dawn and told him they were going to the DMV. Of all places, she was taking him to the DMV. Apparently there was a law going around that everyone needed to convert over to a real ID by the end of the year. Being a goodie two shoes, Chloe set an appointment for the two of them to get one today. Without any warning, she kicked and pushed him to get ready. 

They arrived at the place at nine-fifty in the morning. Exactly a half hour early. Much to Lucifer’s complaining, Chloe knew they had to get there early to ensure they didn’t stay long. 

“Oh stop complaining, we’ll be in and out before you know it,” she said. Lucifer rolled his eyes as they pulled up into the parking lot. There was already a line that wrapped around the building. He immediately pointed his finger out demonstrating how ludicrous her statement was. 

“Look! It’s wrapping around the building. No, let's go home. I can’t do this Detective.” Chloe pulled into a parking spot and shut off the car. 

“Too late, we’re already here.”

“Don’t be silly, just turn on the car and we can go back home.” 

“Nope, come on,” she unclipped her seatbelt and stepped out of the car. When Lucifer didn’t exit right away she stuck her head inside and gave him a look. “Out now,” she said. He huffed and got out of the car. 

He was acting like a child, temper tantrum and all. When he walked to the back of the car she stopped him and fixed his suit jacket. His face immediately turned soft and shot her a smile. She ran her hands up his dress shirt and slipped an envelope into his inside pocket. 

“You’re going to need those documents,” she said reaching up and placing a kiss on his lips. “Oh and this mask,” she slapped a custom flannel mask onto his chest. 

“I beg your pardon,” he peeled it off his chest and looked at the hideous fabric. “I’m not wearing this.”

“You have to, it's the state law. We’re at a government agency, I don’t need you creating a scene.”

“But…” Chloe stopped him from talking and applied her on her face. 

“No buts, I don’t need you making a scene and people filming you. I’ve let you walk around without a mask long enough, today is not the day, you don’t get to fight me on this.” Lucifer looks at the mask and makes a face. 

“Can I at least have yours? This one clashes with my outfit.” 

She handed her white pattern mask over to Lucifer, “there big baby. Anything else?”

“Just a kiss darling,” he leaned over and puckered his lips. Chloe happily complied and met his demands. 

Having already wasted enough time, the two place their masks over their faces and walk up to a booth in the front of the building. A woman explains to them the line situation. The long line is for non-appointments and the short line under the awning is for the people who have made appointments. Happy he doesn’t have to wait under the sun, Lucifer immediately finds him and Chloe a seat under the awning. Within five minutes Chloe takes a seat with him. 

“I forgot we needed a check-in code so we have to wait for them to call us, then we can get to our appointment.”

“Will it be long? It’s kinda getting hot,” he muffled into his mask. He flapped out his jacket to get some air to his body. 

“Well you shouldn’t have worn a suit, I told you to dress casual.”

“Dear this is causal, see,” he showed her his empty pocket. No pocket square. She shook her head and tapped his knee. 

“It should be no longer than fifteen minutes. No complaining, it’s better than the other line.”

“Alright,” he grabbed ahold of her hand and waited patiently. 

A man called out their names after ten minutes passed. He explained that they needed to walk over to the terminals and sign in before getting a service code. The two walked hand in hand and made their way over to the computers. They applied hand sanitizer as requested and sat side by side ready to fill out their information. 

“I’m sorry sir,” an employee called out. Lucifer turned around and looked at who was talking. “Yes, I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to sit six feet apart from the woman.”

“What? We came in together,” he explained. 

“I know, but it’s just a rule. You can sit at the next available terminal but you just can’t cram in next to her.” Lucifer turned to Chloe for help, but she shushed Lucifer away. 

“We’re sorry, he’ll sit at the next terminal, right Lucifer?” he huffed and stood from his seat. 

“Fine,” he said, plopping into the seat two terminals away. Lucifer immediately went to work placing his information into the system. He entered his name and his supposed birth date. As he clicked on the tab that took him to the next page he ran into a problem. He couldn’t remember why they were there in the first place. He leaned over and turned to Chloe. 

“Psst!” he whispered out loud. Chloe stopped what she was typing and turned her head over in Lucifer’s direction. “What are we here for again?”

“You seriously forgot?”

“It says driver's license, real ID, and vehicle registration? Which one?” he looked between the computer and Chloe. Chloe shook her head and answered for him. 

“We’re here for a real ID, click that.” He did as he was told and was now faced with personal information. He tapped at the wooden table and looked over to Chloe, she was unaware of his confusion. He looked over to the employees and smiled.  _ I can do this… I don’t need her help.  _ He sat up straight and started imputing his information. As he got to his social security he stopped. 

“Uh… Detective?” he called out. “What’s my social security?” Chloe reaches over and taps his jacket. 

“It’s all in the envelope.” He pulls it out and smiles. 

“Thank you, Dear.” Chloe smiles and goes back to filing out her information. The employees chuckle off to the side and watch the couple’s back and forth banter. Within another minute Lucifer turns his head once again. 

“I’m a citizen right?” he asks. Chloe rolls her eyes and takes a deep breath before answering. 

“Yes, Lucifer.” 

“One more question, Detective.” Chloe balls her hands into fists and turns over to him.

“Yes, Lucifer?” she says through gritted teeth. 

“Should I become an organ donor? I mean I’ll never die so…”

“Oh my God, Lucifer,” she pinches the brim of her nose and takes a moment to calm down.  _ I love him, I love him, I love him.  _ She repeats to herself. “You can put whatever you want.”

“Why can’t you just do this for me?” he complains. 

“I’m not your Mother, that’s why.”

“Obviously not, I’m sure she’d be nicer than you are to me right now.” Chloe felt bad, she kept herself from laughing and reached her hand out for him. He reached out his hand and gave hers a squeeze. 

“I’m sorry. Let me finish up and I’ll help you out.” 

Lucifer nodded his head and placed his hands on his lap. The computer looked disgusting. The keys were oily and in serious need of a good cleaning. He stood from his seat and placed more hand sanitizer into his hands. Once Chloe was finished she wrote down her confirmation code on the yellow piece of paper. 

“Where are you at?” she said pulled up beside him. The employees allowed the intervention to get the two finished with their check in. 

“I started all over again, I wasn’t sure I did it right.” Chloe scooted him out of his chair and began typing all the information in for him. She was done in five minutes. Like she did before, she wrote down his confirmation code and walked over to the employee that was giggling at them. 

“All set?” the female employee asked. Chloe nodded her head and handed over her information first. “There’s two sets of documents with your address on them, your birth certificate, and social security?” Chloe nodded her head. 

“I have all of that right?” Lucifer whispered into Chloe’s ear. Chloe shook her head and ignored him. The employee chuckled to herself and handed Chloe her documents back. 

“Husbands, where would they be without us,” she said. Lucifer let the biggest smile spread across his face from the statement. “I’m assuming you two are here for the same thing, can I get his information?” the employee asked. Chloe handed over his documents and turned around to face Lucifer. 

“I’m going to kill you, this was supposed to be a stress free day and all you’ve done is stress me out.” Lucifer chuckled to himself and wrapped his arms around Chloe’s waist. 

“I’m sorry,” he said in the cutest voice. “I wanted to go back as I remembered.”

Before she could tell him off, the employee handed her his information and asked them to sit down on the chairs around the corner. 

“The number on the bottom is what you have to look for when they call you,” she explained. 

“Thank you,” Chloe said. She pulled Lucifer over to the chairs so they could wait for their number. As they rounded the corner they noticed a six feet apart distance once again for the chairs. Chloe motioned for him to sit besides her six feet away, but he had other plans. He grabbed the chair and dragged it along the floor. 

“Lucifer, it’s six feet apart,” Chloe whispered. 

“I can’t possibly wait this out six feet apart from you, that wasn’t part of the deal.”

An employee behind the desk stood up and pointed over to Lucifer, “sir. You’re going to have to move that seat back over to the blue line. Six feet a part.” There was no room for debate, Chloe shushed him away and told him to get back to his blue line. He grabbed his chair and dragged it back with a frown on his face. 

Chloe felt bad so she reached into her bag and pulled out a granola bar. The noise caught Lucifer’s attention, he directed himself over in her direction and waited for her to offer him one. She tossed it over right away and kept her focus on the monitor with the numbers on it. Her number was G-023 and Lucifer’s number was F-010. Hopefully with their appointment they won’t have to wait long. She could already see their numbers on the screen. Lucifer said he’d be going to window three, while she’d be on window nine. It was a problem but she was sure he could handle the forms by himself. 

“Psst!” he called out. Chloe turned her head and looked at him with annoyance. He was going to make this experience horrible for her just because she woke him up. “Do you have a water bottle in that bag?” She nodded her head and tossed him a bottle. Once he was done he walked over and set it besides her chair. “Thank you,” he said. 

“Mhm,” she muttered. 

“Sir, mask up please,” called out the same employee that scolded him earlier. 

“Sorry!” he replied. Lucifer lifted up his mask and sat quietly. 

About thirty minutes passed and no one called their number. Chloe started to grow nervous as she knew Lucifer couldn’t sit still for long periods of time. As she looked over to him, she found him occupied on his phone. To her relief he was perfectly fine. She relaxed in her chair and pulled out her phone as well. She listened to new numbers being called out, cautious to listen for hers or Lucifer’s numbers. No one called for them. After another thirty minutes passed, she could sense Lucifer was getting restless. He kept looking at his phone and over to the monitor. 

“I thought you said this wouldn’t take long, it’s been an hour,” he complained. 

“They’re busy, we shouldn’t be here any longer. Just hold on. Go out and stretch your legs, I'll text you if they call us.” 

“It’s too hot,” he said with defeat. 

“No it’s not,” she rebutled. 

“Fine… I’ll just step outside for a smoke.”

“That’ll do. Go stretch your legs.” Lucifer stood up and walked outside. The lady in back of her tapped at her shoulder to get her attention. 

“Was that your husband?” she asked with a smile. Chloe turned around to see who tapped her shoulder. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. What did you just say?” Chloe asked. 

“No no, don’t be. I asked if the tall man sitting besides you was your husband. He’s quite the character.” Chloe gave a nervous chuckle. 

“No, that's he’s my boyfriend. Sorry if he’s distracting. He’s not used to sitting for long periods of time.”

“No, he’s fine. I was just curious. The two of you act like an old married couple.”

“Oh,” she chuckled at the lady’s words. “Thank you?” she didn’t know how to respond. With nothing more to say, Chloe turned back around and watched the monitor. About five minutes passed before Lucifer returned. 

“Anything?”  Chloe shook her head and watched the frown fall on his face. 

Lucifer sat back in his seat and looked at the monitor. The screen had nothing but B’s and D’s littering the monitor. He could have sworn the F’s were there before he left. He sank down into his chair with defeat. It was getting close to lunchtime and the lady at his window was getting up for her lunch break. 

“Where are you going?” he called out. 

“My lunch break, I’ll be back in thirty minutes,” she said. Lucifer’s mouth dropped from the woman’s words. He turned his head over to Chloe and whimpered. 

“Thirty minutes, you can hang on for thirty minutes.”

“Fine,” he said. About four employees got up and did the same. Everyone groaned as they realized the time would be longer. Chloe pulled out her phone and texted Lucifer a gif with a minion kissing the screen. He was already on his phone when he got the notification. Immediately he looked over to her and smiled. He sent her a similar message with Regina George blowing a kiss. The two went back and forth sending gifs to one another for the next fifteen minutes. Once that stopped they started playing games off game pigeon. 

_ “Now serving G-049 at window 13,” the monitor called out, “now serving G-049 at window 13.” _

Both Lucifer and Chloe looked up and frowned at the fact it wasn’t theirs. The old lady behind Chloe stood up and walked over to the man behind the desk. Chloe mentally cursed the lady for getting helped out before them. It was out of her hands, she couldn’t do anything. She went back to playing the game with Lucifer. So far, he was winning at their billiards game.

_ “Now serving A-013 at window 2,” the monitor called out, “now serving A-013 at window 2.”  _

Another thirty minutes passed and Lucifer’s window lady had yet to return. She could see him looking over to her cubicle. Every time he looked up she could see him glaring at her station. As long as he wasn’t making a scene she was fine with it. She looked at the time on her phone and noticed the time was creeping up at almost one p.m. That didn’t look right. She made sure they had an appointment, she didn’t understand what was taking so long. She looked around the building and found new people surrounding them. She couldn’t remember them getting up and leaving. She looked over to Lucifer and found him busy on his phone watching videos.  _ Okay, he’s fine. Let him focus on his phone.  _

_ “Now serving B-034 at window 9,” the monitor called out, “now serving B-034 at window 9.” _

She groaned as the damn computers refused to call out their number. She took a deep breath and relaxed. She didn’t need Lucifer getting worked up. A ping notified her that she had a text message. She opened up her phone and found a message from Lucifer. 

_ I’m hungry…  _ ☹️ 

She looked over to him and saw the visible sad face on him. She looked down at her phone and typed out a message for him. 

_ I am too… just a little longer _

_ Lets see if your window lady comes back _

His phone pinged and he slumped into his chair as he finished reading her message. His head hung over the chair while his legs stretched out and his arms hung from the side. She felt bad for him, she promised it was only going to be a short visit and it was shaping out to be an all day thing. Lucifer stayed in that position for another fifteen minutes. 

_ “Now serving B-038 at window 1,” the monitor called out, “now serving B-038 at window 1.” _

Chloe pinched the brim of her nose and tried not to stand up and complain about the wait. She needed to be better than Lucifer. 

_ “Now serving G-009 at window 2,” the monitor called out, “now serving G-009 at window 2.” _

Lucifer sat up straight after a while and looked at window three. The lady had finally come out from the back. As she took a seat in her chair, Lucifer opened his mouth. 

“It’s about bloody time!” Chloe shot her head over in his direction and looked at the woman with a horrified look. 

“Lucifer!” she called out. “We’re so sorry,” she tried to apologize. No one listened to them, they just kept typing at their computers. 

“What? She’s been gone for an hour in a half. She said thirty minutes!” he said in his best whisper yell. 

_ “Now serving F-033 at window 3,” the monitor called out, “now serving F-033 at window 3.” _

Lucifer sneered at the lady as she called out the wrong number. A man from outside walked in and met with the employee. Lucifer tried burning hole in the back of the man’s head, but Chloe chuckled a granola bar at him. 

“Enough,” she called out. 

“I was next!” he yelled under his breath. 

“We don’t know that. Stop, before she pushes you further down the line.” Lucifer huffed and collapsed into his chair. Chloe’s window guy wasn’t any better, he was filing paperwork instead of calling anyone up. The two of them were getting annoyed, but there was nothing they could do. It was now one thirty in the afternoon and still no sign of them getting out anytime soon. 

_ “Now serving E-010 at window 13,” the monitor called out, “now serving E-010 at window 13.” _

“Ugh!” Lucifer called out. People started to chuckle at his antics. He didn’t find it funny. Instead of looking at his phone, Lucifer took to staring at the lady at window three. He knew she was out for him. Everytime her window opened he’d get ready to stand. Sadly, his number was once again not called. Chloe could hear him whimpering off to the side. “I can’t do this anymore. Give me the car keys.” She shook her head and ordered him to sit back down. “She hates me, I can see it in her eyes.” Chloe let out a small chuckle. 

“Sit down, if we don’t get called in the next ten minutes I’ll get someone to help us.” Lucifer nodded his head and plopped down in his chair once more. 

_ “Now serving G-023 at window 9,” the monitor called out, “now serving G-023 at window 9.” _

Chloe looked down at her yellow paper and stood from her seat excited. Lucifer’s eyes bugged out of his skull and reached out for her. He grabbed ahold of her hand and stopped her from leaving. 

“Don’t leave me!” he said. 

“Lucifer,” she let a chuckle escape. “Let go, I’m sure you’ll be next. Just listen out for your number, it’s F-010.” She handed him his information and tapped at his yellow slip. “Watch her like a hawk, I won’t be gone too long.” Lucifer nodded his head and accepted the envelope. He looked over to the lady at window three and pointed his index finger and middle finger in a v fashion showing her he was watching her. The lady shook her head and went back to helping the man in front of her. 

Within ten minutes Chloe finished up her paperwork and moved over to window thirteen where she was to take her photo. She looked over to Lucifer and watched him closely. He was waiting for his number to be called. As the speaker called out a different number for window three, she watched him curse at the ceiling. 

“I can help you over here miss,” the lady at the window called out for her. She handed her information over and waited for instructions. She signed her name on a pad and was asked to step over by a blue line to take her picture. Five minutes it took and she was done. Almost four hours of waiting for fifteen minutes. She walked over to Lucifer and rubbed his shoulders. The man was tense. She bent down and placed a kiss on his head through the mask. 

“Still nothing?” she called. He shook his head. “Ok, I’ll get someone to help us.”

She waited for someone to open up before walking over to a window. The lady at the cubical asked for her to wait. Lucifer stood behind her like he was ready for Chloe to go off on the employee. Once the employee was ready she called Chloe closer. 

“What was the problem again?” she asked. Lucifer tried to speak but Chloe shushed him. 

“We’ve been here for four hours now and my husband hasn’t been called up yet. We had an appointment set for ten twenty this morning,” Chloe explained. 

“Oh wow! I’m so sorry to hear that,” the employee started typing information into the system. “What was your husband’s number?”

“F-010.” The lady typed out the number and made a noise. 

“I don’t see that number in the system… Are you sure that was the number?” Chloe handed his slip over and showed the lady. 

“Wow! Okay, I can fix that. Can I have your husband’s information?” Chloe turned around and took the envelope from Lucifer. She handed it over to the woman and let her work out the situation. “And he’s here for a?”

“Real ID,” Chloe answered. She watched as the lady typed information into the system. Lucifer intertwined his fingers with her as they waited. He had the biggest smile on his face as she pretended to be his wife. 

“Okay, so will he be filing for a renewal or a continuation?”

“Renewal, we want the five year one.” The lady nodded her head and finished up the paperwork. 

“Okay that will be thirty-seven dollar,” she explained. Lucifer stepped forward and paid for his fee. 

“Thank you so much, I was about to start a fight with the woman on window three,” Lucifer explained. 

“Amanda?” the employee asked. “Oh yeah… she’s a grouch,” the last part coming out as a whisper. “I’m so sorry, for the trouble. I could see you two having a hard time. I was wondering when you’d finally ask for help.”

“See I told you!” Lucifer yelled. “I told her to ask for help,” he told the employee. 

“No you didn’t. You just sat and complained you were hungry.” The lady giggled at Lucifer and Chloe. She stapled Lucifer’s paperwork and handed it over to Chloe. 

“You’re all set. All you need to do is head over to window thirteen and you are out of here.”

“Thank you so much!” they both said. 

“No problem, have a nice day.” 

Chloe pulled Lucifer over to the next window and had him take his photo. After three attempts at getting the ladies to let him retake his photo, they were able to finally leave. Walking out of the DMV felt like a victory that would never come. As they stepped out and winced at the summertime heat. 

“Can I take this stupid thing off now?” Lucifer complained. He tugged at his mask as they walked over to the car. 

“Yes, you can. Hey come here,” she called him over. He pulled his mask off and looked down at her. “Thank you for not making a huge scene, I know you wanted to sleep in. Thank you for sticking with a six instead of a ten on your complaining scale.” She pulled his chin down and kissed his lips. He returned the gesture and wrapped his arms around her. 

“Anything for my wife,” he said, pulling back. Chloe shook her head and pushed him away. 

“Once I see the ring, you can start calling me that,” she walked over to the car and unlocked it. 

“Noted,” he said smiling. “Can we get something to eat now?”

“Oh yes!”

  
  



End file.
